Ever finally get a few minutes to yourself and think, Why don’t I feel better? You sit down, scroll your phone, maybe turn on a show, and next thing you know—time’s up, and you still feel tired, annoyed, or like nothing really changed.
That used to happen to me all the time. I’d wait all day for some “me time,” only to waste it on things that didn’t actually recharge me. Turns out, not all free time is created equal. If you want it to feel good, it needs a little planning.
The Problem: We Default to Numb, Not Rest
When we’re tired, it’s easy to grab the easiest thing—social media, TV, or mindless tasks. But those things don’t restore us. They just fill the time. That’s why you can spend 30 minutes on your phone and still feel stressed or overwhelmed afterward.
I’m not saying phones are bad (I still scroll TikTok, trust me), but if that’s all I do with my free time, I don’t feel better—I feel foggy.
What To Do Instead: Pick One Intentional Thing
The trick is simple: before you start your free time, ask yourself—what do I actually need right now? Do I need quiet? Laughter? Movement? A creative boost?
Then pick one small thing that gives you that. Here are a few that work for me:
- Need to rest? Try lying down with a book or closing your eyes for 10 minutes
- Need to feel joy? Watch something funny or call a friend
- Need to reset? Step outside and take a walk or stretch
- Need a creative spark? Doodle, journal, or cook something just for fun
- You don’t need an hour. You just need a few intentional minutes.
Make It Easy to Choose
When I was exhausted, even deciding what to do felt like work. So I made a little list of 5–6 things that help me feel better. I taped it inside a cabinet. That way, when I finally get a break, I’m not guessing—I already know what to pick.
I call it my “real rest list.”
Final Thoughts
If your free time never feels relaxing, it might be because you’re spending it on things that don’t actually fill you up. Once I stopped defaulting to mindless habits and started picking simple things that truly helped me reset, even 10 minutes felt like enough.
You don’t need more time—you just need to use it in a way that feels good to you. That’s when free time finally starts to feel free.
